Pastor's Corner
August 2025
Some Thoughts on Forgiveness
Whenever the subject of forgiveness comes up, it tends to stir up a unique mixture of feelings. There is the feeling of gratitude and freedom that comes when we think about how God forgives us. When we focus on our need to forgive or be forgiven by others we are a little more resistant. On the one hand, we are hesitant to ask others to forgive us, and on the other hand, we are hesitant to extend forgiveness to others because we have been hurt, sometimes to the point that we don’t want to forgive at all.
In the Lord’s Prayer, we say, “Forgive us our debts (sins) as we forgive our debtors (those who sin against us). We acknowledge the fact that other people sin against us; they hurt us either by their words or by their actions. So, we have to decide whether or not to forgive. Sd I’ve already indicated this is not always easy because we have the mistaken notion that forgiveness most benefits the person who needs to be forgiven. In other words, it only benefits the one who has sinned against us. The truth, however, is that, as the ones who need to forgive, we are the ones who benefit the most from forgiveness. Why?
When someone hurts us, that pain that they have inflicted upon our lives stays with us until we find some way to get that pain out of our lives. Often times our first reaction to the pain of someone else’s sin is to hurt them back. So, we don’t want to do something as gracious and kind as forgiving that other person. We think that by withholding forgiveness then we are in fact hurting them. If we can hurt them, then we can alleviate the pain that they have inflicted upon us. The problem, however, is that this just doesn’t work. There are many times when people simply don’t know that they have hurt us, or they know, but they don’t care that they have hurt us. So, withholding forgiveness is not going to cause them any pain. Instead, we will continue to hold onto the pain that they have inflicted upon our lives.
Our soul does not want to hold onto the pain of another person’s sin against us. Yet, if we continue to withhold forgiveness, then we force our soul to hold onto that pain. We try and bury that pain and pretend that it is not there, but it will not just go away nor will it be ignored. Instead, that pain will begin to transform itself into greater anger, which in turn, leads to bitterness. When bitterness begins to settle into our soul then our entire life becomes a lived expression of pain and hurt. That bitterness will define our very being and will dramatically affect how we interact with other people. That bitterness will spill out into all of our relationships. By holding onto the pain that other people inflicted upon us, we are allowing that other person’s action to continue to hurt us over and over again, and we will, in turn, begin to hurt others.
Forgiveness, on the other hand, is that slow, patient process of letting go of that hurt and pain that another person has inflicted upon our lives. As we release that pain, healing can then come in and take its place. Forgiveness is the act of taking back of our lives from the pain that leads to bitterness. Forgiveness is the courageous and strong action of defining our lives, not by pain, but by healing and grace. When we forgive, we are saying to the other person, “I will not live my life according to the sin you have inflicted upon me. Instead, I will live my life according to the healing that I have allowed into my life. I will decide who I am going to be, not you or your sin against me.
While forgiveness might seem like something nice that we do for the person who has hurt us, it really is more about us. We are the ones who benefit the most when we forgive the person who has sinned against us, because we are the ones who begin to release that pain and allow
healing to come into our lives. Forgiving the other person is one of the strongest and most courageous acts that we can do for ourselves.
There is more to forgiveness, or course. So, we will continue to explore forgiveness in next month’s article.
From the Pastor.....
